Yeah, this isn't going to be my typical happy post. I just have to vent a little. I can't fall asleep so I figured I'd type out my frustrations. This might be a lot of mumbo jumbo, I apologize in advance. I don't even know where to begin. Times have been tough lately. My family is going through some major changes or at least ONE major change and on top of that, we're struggling to stay a float. I can't remember the last time I've ever felt so stressed and I feel horrible that Will has to deal with it all as well especially since he has so much to think about himself. I feel like I shouldn't burden him with anything but then again, he is my husband and I can't figure everything out on my own. I need his input and support. We are a team, right? I just feel bad because he already has enough to deal with. Maybe I'm just being tested right now. I don't know. I'm stressed, depressed, lonely, and I don't know what else. At least I have my sweet baby boy. That is the only ray of light in my life at this moment. God, listen to me. I'm acting like my life is falling apart when that's farther from the truth. Just because I'm going through a rough time right now doesn't mean I have the right to put myself on the pity train. So many other people out there are way worse off than we are and I have no right to feel sorry for myself. I need to get a grip and suck it up and move forward and stop falling apart at the drop of a hat. I have a good, actually, great life and just because my family is struggling right now doesn't give me the right to whine. Okay, is it wierd that I just gave myself a pep talk? I don't know. Maybe I'm going crazy from being stuck in my house 24/7. Oh well. I have to take one day at a time and think about all the good things I have in my life. They definitely outweigh the bad things. I actually think this has helped. Now maybe I can go to sleep with very little on my mind. Sweet dreams everyone and thanks for listening to my whining and rambling. I'll try not to let it happen again.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
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10 comments:
Sometimes life does suck. Venting helps so don't feel bad for doing it! I'm sorry things are tough right now and hope they will get better soon. Maybe things will feel better in the morning.
I totally know what you mean about feeling stuck at home... I think it's the whole living in SV with a baby thing. There's not enough time between feedings and naps to get out. BUT I live really close to you and Anna Kate LOVES company so you and Konnor need to come over to play! Seriously, we'd love it and then we wouldn't feel as lonely or as stuck either! :) Or even just Konnor can come and play and you can take a break. Let me know!!
I'll be thinking of you!
Kim - when you said in your post - God, listen to me - please realize that God does listen to you. Sometimes it seems like He is the only one listening. But he loves and cares for you above anyone else, even when life stinks! There's a lot going on, I can tell from your post, and when you feel you are going it alone, it seems even harder. If I can do anything to help you out, or if you want a shoulder to cry on or a friend who will just listen, you can let me know. I am just an email away - jenniferditommaso@yahoo.com
Hugs to you, and I hope you did get some great sleep after posting.
jennifer
Thinking of you my friend and sending loving, peaceful thoughts your way. Always, always, always feel free to share your vents...we all want to put on a smile for the world but sometimes it feels good to be honest with our frowns too, doesn't it? :)
Love you Kimmy Kim and Connor...Amy and Mighty Max
Oh Kim, I'm so sorry. I miss seeing you, and I'm sorry you feel alone. I know you have a lot going on right now, but know that we love you and are praying for you!
~Julie
Lady that's what friends are for! Vent away! If you want to head over we're home everyday this week after 12:15...Tons of toys for Mr. Konner or I'd love to meet you at a park or something. Let's get together!
Sara
Oh, Miss Kim.... vent away!! Sometimes it does just help to get it all out, so go ahead, we don't mind. I think a playdate sometime would be great for all of us.
Please know I'm keeping you, Will, and that handsome little boy in my thoughts and prayers.
xxoo, Sandy
Kim,
PLEASE find that piece of paper I gave you with my phone number and call me for a walk! I'd love to see you. Sorry you're having a rough time. Looks like you are very loved though.:)
Stefanie
Oh Ladybug....I hope the venting helped. It sure helps me! And know that we are all out here in blogland rooting for you! Don't apologize for it either...we all have our life stuff that feels huge to us!
Hugs to you all!
t
thinking of and praying for you, dear friend. some days we really can't seem to cope. i was there a few times last week. heck - even this week, too! so thanks for being so REAL with us and for sharing. and know that you're not alone!
Kim, I know that I'm very far away, but Regardles of who I am. I will always be here for you. When a woman has a new child, she tends to give all of herself, and forgets to hang on to a quite time for rejuventation. A good massage is definately in order for you. Ask Angie if she could watch Konnor for a couple of hours, and treat yourself to some relaxation.
Try not to loose those few hours for yourself. You owe it to you. That way you can keep up with Konnor and your wonderful husband.
We women are the ones who keep it all rolling along. But we need to take care of ourselves in the process. Please feel free to call, write, or email me. Always know that I love you, Will, and Konnor.
Carol
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